Parenting: Why do I never feel like I amount to something?

I always try to find these great ideas on crafts and DIY stuff to do with my kids. They never seem to ever be that interested in it. I always try to get my son to work on colors, letters, puzzles.. anything when my daughter is at school- but I usually find myself behind my computer or school books while he is standing in front of the television. Am I the only one that ever feels like an awful parent?

Sometimes I wish I could just afford to take my son to a daycare or something because than maybe he’d learn something or he’d be able to play with someone and use his imagination! I just wish I didn’t feel like this. I want him to excel in school and it seems like he has a pretty good memory- I want him to want to learn and want to be good at something. I want him to want to do something other than watch TV, but I am just as much to blame because I allow him to sit there and watch it.

Sometimes I wonder how I could possibly go to work again. Between trying to deal with Chloe’s schedule, clean the house, cook dinner and other things, teach Logan, plus do my own school work… how would I fit in work? Every day it also seems like Chloe’s teacher sends something home for us to work on. Every week it’s a list of things that we should work on, not to mention that her golf instructor wants us to work on skills with them, and then trying to do things together as a family. It seems as though it is non-stop! Then I have time to sit here and write out blogs but I guess I want to feel like other people know what I am talking about, that other parents feel like they are in the same predicament as I am.

Who doesn’t want their kids to be smart, who doesn’t want their kids to be good at something? I realized that in order for our children to be good at something we have to be able to allow them to do something. My kids cannot be good at singing if I don’t give them the tools to sing, my kids cannot be good at sports if I do not let them participate in them, my children cannot be good at school unless I push them to do what they need to…. The list goes on and on. Most of the famous people we see did have their ‘connections’ to people, but a lot of if it has to do with having the right tools to succeed- being good at something because they have been able to practice.

 My hope for my children: I want nothing but the best for you, I want you to succeed, I want you to be something someday- whatever you want to be. I love you more than life itself and there is no way I can honestly describe the way I feel for them. I have never loved something so much in my life and I do not think I ever could, being a parent has been the greatest gift I could have ever asked for…. I may not always be the best parent, or the most fun parent, or the smartest parent, or the most disciplined parent.. but my love is unconditional and I want nothing but the best for you.

The greatest of all is Love

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is no self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, it always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

It’s that time of year again when everyone wants to talk about love and they think that showing the person they love one day out of the whole year can prove something… Valentines Day- nothing more than a Hallmark Holiday, so why should I care about it? I like the idea behind it, the idea of being able to share a day with the people you love and appreciating every moment of it. The idea of not dealing with life and what is actually going on and just letting it all be put to the side.

I have watched all the Twilight movies and I just finished reading all of the books as well. After reading them it made me fall in love all over again with Edward; it made me envious of the love that Bella and Edward have. I fell in love with characters, but it was something that seemed so mesmerizing. I fell in love with the idea of love… the absolution of one single person, knowing without a doubt that you were both made for each other, wanting someone so much more than you could ever say or show, and never being able to get enough of someone. Is that not something to be envious of? I am so completely happy that the saga ended the way it did and that there was the happily ever after, because I mean really- who wants the never ending after? I know that it was just a fairy tale and that kind of “love” does not really exist in life or does it? While I was reading the book it was hard for me to not want to actually become a vampire, to not actually want to live in this book! I fell madly in love with these people, I fell madly in love with the place they lived, I fell madly in love with love. “No measure of time with you will be long enough… but let’s start with forever.”

The reason why I read books is because it allows me to go to a place in the world where nothing else exists, where nothing else matters- I can decide if I want to be in a sci-fi place, a criminal place, a fairy tale- I get to decide! I have the ability to be alone yet still exist, although most of the time it seems so real that I cannot see the difference. Love is like a fairy tale, they say it only happens once in a while- true love that is- but I know I’ve had more than one true love.

Love is worth every moment.. the feeling of love is worth every moment…

I know that you can have that overwhelming feeling that is more than lust, where you completely and utterly fall weak in the knees because of someone. The butterflies in your stomach curl up around all the way to your heart, the sensation carries throughout all your veins until finally it allows you to take another breath of air, the oxygen you didn’t even realize you’d been deprived of. The touch, so gentle, so soft… it caresses every piece of who you are.

Herbs, Spices.. and health

What’s really good for my health?: It’s hard to adapt to a new lifestyle of healthy food, but the change is within you!

 

I know that I am a health nut. I would like to think that I could be a personal trainer no problem- but the more I read about health and foods that you should and should not eat- I am just as much to blame as everyone else for having the ‘wrong’ things in my pantry. I try to make a grocery list a head of time that way I know what my meals are going to be and I try to know everything that is going into my food. Do we set our kids up to become obese? Do we allow them to eat 'unhealthy' foods because of the labels we are suckered into? The claims that these companies are allowed to make although the outside of the package may not be as clear as we think it is. They claim that manufactures are adding sugar just because there is a growing demand of a sweet tooth. Americans have forgotten what healthy food was supposed to taste like because we have all gotten sucked into the world of sugar. A test: take away one thing of sugar a day and replace it with something healthy and see the change of how you feel as you progress- I bet not as sluggish and you might actually lose a little weight. The sugar that they are adding in is going to our waistline- and if you don’t get up and work out than it will never go away.

A rule of thumb- well a couple of them- if you want what’s healthiest then stick to the outer edges of the store, they have the fruits, vegetables, meats, and all the healthy foods. Buying frozen foods like fruits and veggies is also okay though because they are usually just as healthy. Another tip- if sugar is in the top 4 ingredients FIND SOMETHING ELSE!!! Most people hate to buy fresh foods a) because they go bad quicker and b) because then that actually requires them to cook a meal. I know that sometimes that can be dreadful, but the benefits that you are giving an entire family is worth it. There are plenty of websites that you can find that show you recipes to make- spend 4-5 hours a day and cook meals for over a month all with fresh food.

What spices do?

Basil: filled with antioxidants; contain oils that prevent bacteria growth and inflammation.       Make fresh pesto by blending 2 cups of fresh basil leaves with 2 tablespoons pine nuts, ¼ cup parmesan, and ¼ cup olive oil.

Peppermint: clear phlegm and mucus; soothes indigestion, gas, menstrual cramps, and IBS.      Add to batch of fruit salad with a squeeze of lime and handful of chopped mint leaves.

Sage: strengthen memory; alleviates effects of asthma and arthritis.            Quick pasta sauce- melt butter in pan until turns light brown, then add handful of sage leaves. Toss with cheese or pumpkin ravioli.

Rosemary: increase cognitive function; can prevent alzheimers and stroke.            Mix together minced rosemary, garlic, lemon juice, and olive oil. Use as a marinade for chicken, steak, pork, and vegetables.

Thyme: rich in iron; protects food from bacterial contamination.      Pair with roasted meat and vegetables, tomato sauce, or scrambled eggs.

Cilantro: creates more insulin.     Chop up some tomatoes, an onion, and a jalapeno, mix with heap of cilantro and you have fresh salsa.

Parsley: anti-inflammatory properties; helps prevent decline in cognitive functions.        Chop and mix with bulgur wheat. Add olive oil, lemon juice, and mint- a nice salad.

Oregano: four times the antioxidant activity of blueberries. Add equal parts fresh parsley and oregano to blender- then slowly drizzle olive or canola oil. Strain and use the infused oil to top grilled fish or chicken. Or as a dip for toasted bread.

Tarragon: improves gastric efficiency and whets the appetite. Grill up a mixture of veggies and sprinkle with fresh goat cheese, tarragon, lemon juice, and olive oil.

All of these spices are great to use and can add some extra calorie free flavors. Also try looking through the spice rack as well because there are just as good things put in a container. I almost dread trying to learn new things, but I really have become accustomed to cooking and baking and have found a love for it- although I must say that pinterest is making me want to lose my mind with all the chocolate lovers out there. I know that I can make them, but I need to watch eating as many. Most people though who would meet me would say that I am crazy if I think I need to watch what I eat- but I do watch what I eat, why do you think I ‘look the way you think I do?’ I work out at least 4 times a week and I always watch what I eat. If I want a chocolate chip cookie I will try to limit myself to 2…. I try to think about what is in what I am eating. Especially if you didn’t make what is going into your body- then you shouldn’t divulge yourself into it. I think that if we read the ingredients and there are over 25 in something that is crazy! It is amazing what people are allowed to put into food and actually quite scary. I would not want to know what I am eating half the time.

            Anyways, I know that I am a health nut and that I really truly care about my body and the people around me, I thought maybe this could help with a little insight.. plus any new recipes. If someone has a great recipe that uses one of these herbs or a spice from the spice rack let me know please!!!