Parenting: Why do I never feel like I amount to something?

I always try to find these great ideas on crafts and DIY stuff to do with my kids. They never seem to ever be that interested in it. I always try to get my son to work on colors, letters, puzzles.. anything when my daughter is at school- but I usually find myself behind my computer or school books while he is standing in front of the television. Am I the only one that ever feels like an awful parent?

Sometimes I wish I could just afford to take my son to a daycare or something because than maybe he’d learn something or he’d be able to play with someone and use his imagination! I just wish I didn’t feel like this. I want him to excel in school and it seems like he has a pretty good memory- I want him to want to learn and want to be good at something. I want him to want to do something other than watch TV, but I am just as much to blame because I allow him to sit there and watch it.

Sometimes I wonder how I could possibly go to work again. Between trying to deal with Chloe’s schedule, clean the house, cook dinner and other things, teach Logan, plus do my own school work… how would I fit in work? Every day it also seems like Chloe’s teacher sends something home for us to work on. Every week it’s a list of things that we should work on, not to mention that her golf instructor wants us to work on skills with them, and then trying to do things together as a family. It seems as though it is non-stop! Then I have time to sit here and write out blogs but I guess I want to feel like other people know what I am talking about, that other parents feel like they are in the same predicament as I am.

Who doesn’t want their kids to be smart, who doesn’t want their kids to be good at something? I realized that in order for our children to be good at something we have to be able to allow them to do something. My kids cannot be good at singing if I don’t give them the tools to sing, my kids cannot be good at sports if I do not let them participate in them, my children cannot be good at school unless I push them to do what they need to…. The list goes on and on. Most of the famous people we see did have their ‘connections’ to people, but a lot of if it has to do with having the right tools to succeed- being good at something because they have been able to practice.

 My hope for my children: I want nothing but the best for you, I want you to succeed, I want you to be something someday- whatever you want to be. I love you more than life itself and there is no way I can honestly describe the way I feel for them. I have never loved something so much in my life and I do not think I ever could, being a parent has been the greatest gift I could have ever asked for…. I may not always be the best parent, or the most fun parent, or the smartest parent, or the most disciplined parent.. but my love is unconditional and I want nothing but the best for you.