Listening is worth more than a lot of things

It amazes me lately how well everyone around me has been listening to me, what has happened to my listening skills? The people around me have been listening well to me and I don’t even realize that I have said things. They are listening and I am not.

In middle school we used to have these things called “Natural Helpers.” These were people who were ‘elected’ by their peers because they were considered the best listeners, people who anyone could turn to in order to talk about their problems and expect the other person to be attentive and potentially give good advice. I was one of those people for three years in a row, every year I was elected as one and I loved it. I got to leave school for activities that helped enhance my listening skills as well as other abilities in regards to being a good friend. I used to have pictures to a lot of these things, but after the fire I am not sure that I have a lot of things left. A whole entire part of my life was in a box that I had forgotten about and I will never see it again, if there was even much left after the fire. Anyways, for three years straight I was told I was one of the best listeners, what has happened to me then?

                My best friend got me a birthday present that has to be one of the best I have ever received. She gave me a necklace that has 13.1 on it to remind myself of what I have accomplished, I continually get better and better with running and for her to know that it is something I love more than anything amazes me. How did she know that this was something I would love so much? We unfortunately do not talk often enough, texts are few and far between, emails have been a couple of times, facebook is the easiest way to connect, and phone calls are almost nonexistent- this was the person that I remember talking on the phone for hours and hours when we were growing up. We talked about everything. Over the years we lost contact and somehow she still knows me. It’s sad because I feel like I do not listen enough, I feel like I do not know her like I should. If she’s my best friend shouldn’t I feel like I know everything about her? I do not listen well enough at all.

                At my daughters birthday party this past weekend she had all of her friends and we invited some people that we met while living down here in Florida. The mother I have grown pretty close with and it is nice to have someone around here to be able to talk to and to go out with if we need to or can. For my daughter’s present she got her a digital camera and scrapbook kit thing from Crayola. How did she know that I loved to scrapbook and that Chloe likes to sit down with me and do her own? I have only known her since January and she already knows me this well? I do not understand where my listening skills went to or my memory.

                I always give Brian a hard time for not remembering things, but I am beginning to wonder if I am able to remember anything at all either. I do not remember telling me things half of the time. I told my sister that I think a lot of it is that I do not have a lot of people to talk to down here, I rarely speak to anyone, so when I am given the opportunity to talk to someone, I do most of the talking and do not listen as well anymore. I get so excited to be able to have a conversation with someone other than my children or Brian. I just want to be able to talk to people about adult things and not just about my life. I feel like I don’t have a lot of friends, I have grown into a different life and they have as well, the ones that remain by my side are the true ones. I used to love listening to people, I used to love talking about problems and trying to help others get past issues that were going on in their lives. I used to love to listen, I never liked to talk that much and really I still don’t like to talk that much. I have definitely started to grow out of my shy tendency especially since having my children, I have been forced to speak to more people and be more open with things because they are making friends and wanting to do things.

                Listening is such a vital part of who we are, in order to know anything about where we are going and what we are doing, we need to listen. I never realized how important this skill was and I never realized that I had lost it. It’s sad to think that there are people out there that know me so well, that listen so well, yet I have not given them the same respect. Do they think I talk too much? Do they think I am a bad person for not listening well? All I can do is start listening now, start really listening to what everyone is saying around me. Most of the time it is in the small things that are said that you find the most truth and the most answers. I know that I can really get to know others if I truly open up my ears, because I know I have a great memory, there’s no way I would forget learning something.

                Listen- because you never know when the last chance you might have at listening to someone, it really is more important than it seems.