I would give
anything some days to be three again, but then again I am twenty-five and every
once and a while I get to pretend that I am three.
I get to be a
ghost hunter squirting all the ghosts, trying to capture them, with my jelly
gun. I get to be a construction worker and build houses, fix screens and bikes,
and hammer and weld things together. I get to be a dancer and singer and run
around the house, but I don’t have to worry about someone not buying my music
or dances because the one person who matters doesn’t care how bad I am at
singing and dancing. I get to be a patient who is badly injured in need of a
doctor who can help. I can always be a Dr.: Dr. Wabob at your service J I can fix
anything that you need me to and I assure you that it will turn out okay. I can
climb on the playground and swing on the swingset. I can be a scuba diver and
go down the water slides and collect all the dive rings at the bottom of the
pool. I can be a chef and whip you up
something good with just the bark and leaves from outside.
My son teaches me
a lot about myself and all the things I really can do. I hope that I am able to
open up his eyes as well when I let him imagination run wild. I watch him with
pure fascination because I am amazed at what he is able to make-up and what he
is able to remember. He really does make me the best person I can be.
The
most important part of getting to be anything I want to be is being able to
still be the mom at the end of the day. I can kiss away any boo-boos, I am the
exterminator when I have to kill bugs, and I am a storyteller at bedtime. I get
the best job of all. No matter where I go in life, I know that I will always be
a mom.
I do not know
about anything else in my life in any other aspect, but I do know that no one
can take my children away from me and no one can tell me that I didn’t do a
good job. Some days I feel like I could do more. “Here Logan, watch some
cartoons, I need to clean, do homework, shower…” Before you know it Chloe is
home and I feel that another day has washed away without me doing much with
him. I always feel like I have to be the best I can be and take him on wild
adventures and go spend money to have fun with him, but the moments where we
get to use our imaginations together are some of the best moments that we can
create.
There are days
when I just want to crawl into a ball because I feel like I have not amounted
to what I ever wanted, I have not completed what should have been done by this
time in my age, that I have yet to make my own parents proud; BUT I have
created two beautiful lives that help me retain my youth. I get to be a kid
every once in a while, but I get to be a full time mom. I have an excuse to act
like the ghosts are chasing after us at a playground filled with people, I get
to act crazy because I broke my fake arm and my son has to fix it, I get to
wear the construction goggles when we build something together just because I
can, because it’s fun, because it makes them
laugh. Their laugh is contagious, beautiful, and heartwarming. I do not
think there could ever be a person who I love more than anything besides those
two lives I created, except of course another part of me or two or three more J I am thankful to
their dad for giving me two of the best gifts that God could ever give me. I am
thankful for the moments I have with them.
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